La Fanfare Parisien du Quartier Latin
by thatarchitect
Summary: Meaning 'The Parisian Brass Band of the Latin Quarter'. The modern AU which no one asked for of Les Amis in a brass band, with Enjolras as the solo cornet player, Jehan as the flugelhorn player and Bossuet as the clumsy percussionist. Contains slash: ExR and Jehan/Courfeyrac. Also other possible pairings later.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise

Wednesday nights were always the most chaotic nights at St Rémy's Community Hall, Paris. The reason for this, of course, being that rabble of assorted students in La Fanfare Parisien du Quartier Latin (which Courfeyrac had affectionately nicknamed Les Amis, as it was easier to say and he couldn't think of anything better at such short notice). 8pm until 10pm every Wednesday consisted of Les Amis' thirteen 17 to 26 year olds blasting a variety of brass instruments, usually out of tune but occasionally quite musically. Jean Prouvaire was one of these young people.  
The walk to the rehearsal hall was peaceful – Jehan had swung his horn case cheerfully as he walked through the gardens on his route – a slight detour, but nevermind that now. A butterfly had flown by and he had to stop and squint at it to see what patterns it had on its wings, and to wonder at the fact that he just saw a butterfly in October. Then he may have dropped his music stand onto his foot in a Bossuet-like manner, cursed "oh fiddlesticks" and had to hobble the rest of the way, delaying his walk. As a consequence he was 30 minutes late, probably even later than Marius Pontmercy, the 2nd tenor horn player who was slightly organised because Cosette Fauchelevant was in his life (he was worse before they met).  
After grumbling under his breath about his foot and finally reaching the door, Cosette was the first person Jehan saw upon entering the building. She looked very frazzled and anxious and was holding her soprano cornet protectively, as if the chaos in the room might dent it. 'My dad isn't here yet,' she explained to a curious Jehan. 'Enjolras tried to conduct instead but you can see how well that worked out.'  
And indeed, the band's solo cornet player, Enjolras, was failing at maintaining order. It seemed that he had started to conduct Montagues and Capulets (judging by the sheet music that was on people's music stands, in the form of a paper plane under Bahorel's chair and on top of a confused Joly's head) but Grantaire had started an argument, probably about Enjolras's terrible conducting or overly-optimistic political views. They were now shouting at the top of their voices while euphonium player Combeferre tried to calm them down. Jehan caught some of the argument: 'waste of talent, you should be in a professional orchestra…', 'why all the over-exaggerated arm movements?' and 'alcohol doesn't help you play the tenor horn'.  
Meanwhile, Courfeyrac was playing The Bare Necessities at three fs on his bass trombone (with really terrible posture), Bahorel seemed to be purposely tuning his Bb bass so that everything was a semitone higher, and Éponine was yelling at her brother over the phone about pickpocketing.  
Jehan calmly reconstructed his stand and took a seat between Musichetta, the repiano cornet player, and Grantaire's seat, where his tenor horn rested. 'How are you coping?' he asked.  
Musichetta looked a little traumatised. 'Joly came home after performing a surgery and seeing tons of blood, and panicked when Bossuet broke a glass and cut himself the tiniest bit. Then he spent five minutes washing his hands and another thirty cleaning his baritone. But I'm great, how are you?'  
Jehan started to oil his flugelhorn's valves. 'I had a French exam at lycée, which went well, wrote a poem on a napkin in a café and walked through the gardens on my way here. '  
Musichetta smiled. 'That's great, kid.'  
When Jehan had joined La FPQL at age 14 he had quickly earned the nickname 'the kid' as he was the youngest in the band – even younger than Cosette, who was one year his senior. Though it sometimes felt patronising, he was technically still 17 and therefore not an adult. And it wasn't so bad when a motherly figure like Musichetta called him this as she was one of the oldest in the band at 26 years old, and therefore had the right to think of him as a kid. Courfeyrac had once even joked that Jehan was his child, since he was apparently "the cutest ball of fluffy innocent happiness to ever have existed". Jehan hadn't been sure how to react to that and decided to take it as a compliment. Éponine had then decided that Jehan was her son too, even though everyone (except Marius) knew she would rather have a child with Marius than Courfeyrac. But Grantaire, ever the cynic, had then pointed out that Éponine must have given birth at age two. Courfeyrac had looked disappointed for a moment before deciding that Jehan was his adopted son, ruffling his hair and making the then 16-year-old blush.  
Speaking of Courfeyrac, the trombonist finished his rendition of The Bare Necessities, slumped into Grantaire's chair (thankfully moving the tenor horn first) and pulled Jehan out of his thoughts. 'How's my favourite poet doing?'  
Jehan smiled brightly. 'Alright I guess – I dropped my music stand on my foot but it was okay because I saw-'  
At that moment Bahorel played a very loud and low-pitched G on his tuba (which was more like a G# because of how he had tuned it), startling a nearby Lesgles and making him drop a cymbal. Éponine then jumped and swore very colourfully as it crashed to the ground, leading to a now very enraged Enjolras sending a glare her way and Gavroche repeating her words on loudspeaker, and adding more. Marius looked scandalised at the 10-year-old's extensive vocabulary and tripped over Joly's chair, which Feuilly rolled his eyes at and pulled Marius up.  
Jehan blinked, bewildered.  
Courfeyrac grinned. 'How is it that one note can cause that much chaos in the space of five seconds? I want to be able to do that. Hey, maybe I should –'  
'Please don't,' Musichetta interrupted, looking positively alarmed. 'We don't need any more stress.'  
'Just one tiny fortissimo…?'  
'Sorry Courf,' said Jehan. 'But we don't really want to be deaf.'  
Courfeyrac sighed, picked up Grantaire's tenor horn and quietly played four bars of Toccata and Fugue in D minor. 'Is that ok?' he inquired innocently.  
Musichetta snorted. 'It sounded like a dying walrus trying to sensitively play music.'  
'That's what I was aiming for,' Courf replied cheekily, clearly knowing it sounded awful. He put the horn down and turned to Jehan. 'You have toothpaste just there by the way.' Courfeyrac automatically licked his thumb and wiped away the toothpaste on Jehan's cheek. Jehan turned red, while over in the one-man baritone section Joly looked outraged that Courfeyrac had shared Grantaire's mouthpiece and then used his own spit to clean away Jehan's toothpaste. Then the trombonist stood up, placing Grantaire's horn back on the chair, and kissed Jehan on the other cheek. 'You're my favourite flugelhornist,' he spontaneously declared, and promptly left to play a trombone duet with Feuillly.  
Musichetta watched the exchange, looking amused. Jehan put his head in his hands and groaned, blushing furiously. 'He likes you.' Musichetta stated the obvious.  
'I think he's just teasing me.'  
'He was flirting with you!'  
'If that was flirting then it was a very strange way to go about it,' Jehan muttered, now almost the same colour as his hair.  
'But he kissed you, Prouvaire!' Musichetta objected.  
'Courf kisses everyone,' Jehan deadpanned. 'He'd kiss Enjolras if he didn't have to fear murder.'  
'You like him though, I've read some of you poetry and it's clear that it's about him – although I also have dark curly hair…'  
Jehan groaned. 'Don't flatter yourself Chetta, you're almost ten years older than me. Although Courf is six years older so- wait.' He glanced at her suspiciously, 'When did you read my poetry?'  
Luckily for Musichetta (as Jehan was fiercely protective of his poems after Marius had recited one to Cosette and claimed it to be his), Jean Valjean, the conductor, entered at a convenient moment. He looked around at the chaos – Enjolras was now making a speech about sexism in the workplace, Éponine was yelling at Gavroche over the phone about swearing, and Courfeyrac and Feuilly were playing clashing notes – blinked twice and cleared his throat.  
Everyone stopped talking or playing and Marius rushed to get his sheet music out of his folder, terrified of his girlfriend's father.  
'Let's start with the Pirates of the Caribbean medley, shall we?' Valjean decided.  
Enjolras now looked calm as ever, retaking his seat next to Cosette in the cornet section.  
Everyone got their instruments ready, blowing warm air into them or emptying the spit valves. Jehan drank some water, his mouth dry after Musichetta's interrogation about his 'crush' on Courfeyrac.  
Valjean counted one bar before conducting them in, with Grantaire, Joly, Combeferre and Bahorel starting. They played for five seconds before he stopped them, asking, 'Bahorel, what is that awful noise your instrument is making?'  
Bahorel looked sheepish. Feuilly snickered, thinking of Marius' reaction to Gavroche's response to Éponine's swearing at Bossuet's cymbal drop due to Bahorel's G that sounded like a G#.


End file.
